Are You Unhappy In Your Relationship?
Is it a struggle to find joy or even contentment in your current romantic relationship? Do you feel unsupported by your partner, have difficulty trusting him or her or feel insecure in your relationship? It may be that one or both of you frequently feels misunderstood or judged by the other. After years spent running after kids or building careers, maybe you feel that your relationship has become stagnant. It might be that you’re afraid to open up to your partner for fear of being blamed for the problems in your relationship. Or, perhaps you worry that seeking couples counseling will shine a light on all the problems and unhappiness in your relationship, causing your partnership to end. After an affair or other betrayal, do you wonder if there is any hope to save your marriage? Do you wish you could both learn new ways to communicate openly and honestly, removing doubts and fears once and for all?
You may feel as though you are trapped in a negative cycle of fighting, silent treatment, sadness or dissatisfaction. Perhaps one or both of you feels unfulfilled sexually. Kids or work life may mean that you spend less and less time together and, when you are together, phones or computers prevent it from being quality time. You may even have begun to lose sight of what brought you together in the first place, although you want to return to feeling safe, secure and deeply connected to your partner. Do you want a relationship that has joy, passion and fun while supporting your intimacy needs and desires, yet fear that your relationship might be past the point of no return?
Almost Everybody Experiences Relationship Problems
Relationship issues are one of the most common reasons people seek therapy. And, while almost all couples go through ups and downs, many wait too long to seek help, and half of all marriages end in divorce. Uncompromising schedules, poor communication skills and holding onto hurt and resentment contribute to the ending of fraught, unhappy marriages or relationships. Past trauma and years of witnessing unhealthy relationships can also influence our relationship patterns. It may be that you don’t have the skills you need to make a relationship work or even know what a healthy relationship should look and feel like. Or, it may be that you and/or your partner need to work through past traumatic events or deep emotions in order to move forward with your relationship.
It’s important to note, however, that there is hope for a happier marriage or relationship. With commitment and effort, you can find your way back to real, lasting love and support. There are new ways to love, heal pain and develop effective skills to form healthy attachments in your relationship. And, you can learn effective communication to strengthen your bond. A skilled and understanding couples therapist can help you identify the negative cycles you may be trapped in, resolve conflict and move forward with more confidence, compassion and clarity.
Couples Therapy Can Provide You With The Hope, Support And Skills Needed To Save And Strengthen Your Relationship
In times of distress, humans instinctively turn toward each other for comfort and protection. A loving, romantic relationship provides a safe haven from the trials and tribulations of everyday life. However, when a negative cycle emerges in a relationship, partners are often not available to tend to each other’s needs. In this is the case—as it usually is when couples bump up against life’s inevitable challenges—Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) can help you get in touch with your deepest emotions, allowing you and your partner to break out of unhealthy patterns and find your way back to each other and the safe haven that your relationship once was.
EFT is the most empirically validated form of couples therapy with over 90 percent of couples experiencing improvement through engaging in this highly effective approach to healing. In contrast, mainstream couples therapies only have a 40-50 percent success rate. EFT goes beyond simply improving communication skills. Instead, it focuses on allowing you to speak from your heart, uncovering vulnerable emotions that you may not even realize are there. EFT techniques identify unhealthy communication cycles, helping you determine what is driving your primary emotions and learning how to share difficult emotions with your partner, subsequently diminishing conflict and/or distancing. With commitment and practice, you will find that you are no longer ruled by fears and doubts. Rather, you can learn to accept your partner fully, allowing both of you to feel supported and loved. While EFT couples therapy can seem challenging due to its deep-reaching nature, the acknowledgment and communication of honest emotions is a fundamental step in the growth and transformation of your relationship into a loving, lasting and satisfying connection.
As an EFT couples therapist, counseling couples since 2001, I am on the side of your relationship and want it to succeed. Most couples approach the onset of relationship counseling in a very vulnerable and often hopeless place, and it can be hard to reach out for help. However, many clients credit couples counseling as being the best thing they have done for themselves and their relationship. It’s important to realize that we’re not born knowing how to have a healthy partnership. These skills need to be learned and seeking relationship or marriage therapy as a couple shows your commitment to improving your relationship and moving forward together. I will offer ongoing support and guidance as we identify, explore and address your relationship problems, as well as professional perspective and insight into where things may be going wrong for you. With this third-party insight, a proven approach and a willingness to self-explore, you and your partner can feel more confident, connected, open and empowered in your relationship going forward.
You still may have questions and concerns about couples counseling…
I’ve heard that couples therapy can be expensive and time consuming.
It can be helpful to think of the time and money you spend in couples therapy as an investment in your relationship, mental health and future. Just as we invest money and time into our health through our gym membership, doctor’s fees, etc., couples counseling is a way to help protect the long-term health of your relationship and resolve any issues that may be holding you back from the connection you desire.
I’m worried I’m going to be blamed for our relationship problems.
Every couple has a pattern and process that they create together. It’s never just one person creating a negative cycle. Couples counseling can help you identify the ways you both contribute to unhealthy patterns and help you find new, positive ways to move forward in your relationship. I will never blame either of you for your relationship problems.
I’m worried you’re going to tell me to leave my partner.
As a marriage and family therapist, I am pro-relationships and pro-marriage, and I will do everything I can to help your relationship improve and survive. The only time I will intervene in a relationship is if I feel one partner is being seriously threatened by the other, in which I would likely suggest moving to individual therapy. And, if in the process of couples or marriage counseling you decide to end your relationship, I will continue to offer help, guidance and support so you can part as amicably as possible.
You Can Feel Confident And Secure In Your Relationship
If you’re ready to begin taking steps toward improving your relationship, I can help. Call 972-489-2658 today for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I can answer any questions you have, and set up an initial meeting where you’ll be able to relax in a comfortable environment and better understand the benefits of working with a couples therapist.